Shirley Temple’s Baby Burlesks

1007. SHIRLEY TEMPLE’S BABY BURLESKS (1932-1933-USA). WITH SHIRLEY TEMPLE. DIRECTED BY CHARLES LAMONT. CURLY-HAIRED, DIMPLED SHIRLEY TEMPLE, AMERICA’S AND THE WORLD’S DEPRESSION-ERA SWEETHEART, BEGAN HER PHENOMENAL CAREER, AT AGE FOUR, WITH THESE “BABY BURLESKS.” CHARMING PARODIES Of FAMOUS MOVIES OR GENRES, THEY FEATURED ALL-CHILD CASTS IN ADULT ROLES. THE PRECOCIOUS, AMAZINGLY TALENTED KIDS WORE ADULT CLOTHING ON THE UPPER PARTS Of THEIR BODIES AND DIAPERS (WITH GIGANTIC SAFETY PINS) BELOW. ALTHOUGH CHILDREN WILL LOVE THESE FILMS, THEIR SATIRIC HUMOR IS REALLY QUITE SOPHISTICATED. ITS STAR ONCE CALLED THEM “THE BEST THINGS I EVER DID.” SHE MAY HAVE BEEN RIGHT!
1. POLLY-TIX IN WASHINGTON (1932-USA). SHIRLEY IS POLLY-TIX, A SEXY TEMPTRESS HIRED BY UNSCRUPULOUS POLITICIANS TO SWAY THE VOTE Of AN IDEALISTIC SENATOR. (HE’S AGAINST THEIR MANDATORY CASTOR-OIL CONSUMPTION BILL.) WEARING TWO-PIECE BLACK UNDIES AND ACTING LIKE MAE WEST, SHE GETS THE SENATOR LITERALLY TO EAT (WHIPPED-CREAM CAKE) OUT Of HER HAND. THERE’S A CLIMACTIC WATER PISTOL BATTLE BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL, AND A SURREAL ENDING SATIRIZÂING THE NOTION THAT “PROSPERITY IS JUST AROUND THE COMER.”
2. . THE PIE-COVERED WAGON (1932-USA). PARODY Of “THE COVERED WAGON,” WITH SHIRLEY, A PIONEER, KIDÂNAPPED FROM A WAGON TRAIN AND TIED TO A POST BY SAVAGE INDIANS, THE SETTLERS RUN OUT Of AMMUNITION, AND THEIR DOG VOLUNTEERS TO RACE TO THE FORT. REINFORCEMENTS AND AMMUNITION (A HUGE SUPPLY Of CUSTARD PIES) ARRIVE JUST IN TIME!
3. GLAD RAGS TO RICHES (1932-USA). SHIRLEY, AS NIGHTCLUB ENTERTAINER LA BELLE DIAPERINA, TAP-DANCES AND SINGS HER FIRST SCREEN SONG, “SHE’S ONLY A BIRD IN A GILDED CAGE.” HER SWEETHEART FROM THE FARM COMES TO THE CITY TO SAVE HER FROM VILE SHOW BUSINESS, AND GETS CAUGHT ON A LAMPPOST, LOSING HIS DIAPER IN THE PROCESS!
4. KID IN HOLLYWOOD (1933-USA). EXCELLENT SATIRE ON THE MOVIE INDUSTRY! ALTHOUGH SHE WON A BATHING BEAUTY CONTEST, POOR LITTLE SHIRLEY MUST SETTLE FOR SCRUBBING THE STUDIO’S FLOORS. BUT THE TEMPERAMENTAL STAR REFUSES TO GO ON, AND SHIRLEY, NAMED MORE LEGS SWEETTRICK (AN AMUSING PARODY Of MARLENE DIETRICH) GETS HER BIG BREAK. WHEN ABSOLUTELY NOBODY SHOWS TIP AT THE PREMIERE (AT KID GRAUMAN’S CHINESE THEATRE), THE MONOCLED, MANIACAL DIRECÂTOR, “FRIGHTWIG VON STUMBLEBUM, THE MAD GENIUS,” PROCLAIMS HER A HAS-BEEN.
5. KID IN AFRICA (1933-USA). SHIRLEY IS MADAM CRADLEBAIT, A MISSIONARY DETERMINED LO LAME THE AFRICAN CANÂNIBALS. SHE’S ABOUT TO BE COOKED ALIVE, BUT THE TARZAN-LIKE HERO, DIAPERZAN, SWINGS ON VINES AND RIDES ON AN ELEPHANT 10 HER RESCUE. SHIRLEY DOMESTICATES HIM AND BRINGS CIVILIZATION TO THE SAVAGES. A REVEALING LOOK AT HOLLYWOOD RACISM. FOUR DECADES LATER, WHEN SHIRLEY TEMPLE BLACK BECAME THE U.S. AMBASSADOR TO GHANA, CHANCES ARE THAT SHE DIDN’T BRING THIS FILM ALONG AS A REFERENCE! 5O MINUTES TOTAL. COMEDY